I’m not grateful for that.

I’m all for gratitude when it’s appropriate. I’ve written a little about building gratitude into my life and my families life and I plan to write more about that. However today I’m in angry mode.

Our society is telling women to be grateful for things they should be able to take for granted. Not that every women can take these things for granted yet. But we need to fight for these things for every women. So I’m going to stop saying thank you when I get some part of any of these things because that really just sends the message that women don’t deserve to take these things for granted. We do. All of us.

  • A salary if we choose to care for our children (until they are at least 18 months old).
  • Paid time off work if we are sick while pregnant.
  • Respectful, safe maternity care.
  • A safe and comfortable environment while we are in labour.
  • Specialist post birth medical care.
  • Practical help with cooking and cleaning for 6 weeks after birth. Longer if we were ill or injured during the birth.
  • Optional post birth trauma counselling and de-brief.

Three happy things a day for adults

In a previous post I wrote about the page a day diaries I got my family for Christmas and how we made them part of Rowan’s bedtime routine. Here I’m going to write about why we also have our own diaries and how we use them.

One reason we also have diaries is that it’s important to model the habits I want my child to have. Kids do as you do, not as you say.

As well as three good memories, my husband and I also write WHY we think these good things happened. It’s not a test, we don’t think too hard about it, but the theory is that doing this gives you a sense of control over your life. When you write down the little good things that happen and see that some of them happened because of actions you took or decisions you made you get motivated to make more good things happen. You know that it’s possible for you to do things that will make you happy. You are in control of your life and your happiness.

Why not try writing down three good things that happen to you each day for a week and see how it makes you feel? They can be big things or small things, unusual or everyday events. Just remembering the good things can make you happier and more grateful. Remembering why they happened can put you back in control of your life.

If you feel good after doing this for a week then why not continue? What about committing to a month? Please feel free to share how you get on in the comments.

Christmas presents to make your loved ones happier

Now that Christmas is over I can share some of the presents I gave this year without spoiling the surprise for my family. If you gave or got any great presents this year I’d love to hear about it in the comments (I’ve only got a month to get birthday presents for my husband and I’m out of ideas).

This year I got my husband and youngster a pocket page a day diary each. I also asked my mother in law for a page a day diary for myself. Every evening we’re writing three good memories in the days page.

Rowan can’t write (or speak much that we understand) yet, so we’re coming up with and writing his memories for him. I hope that by the time he can speak and write this will be part of his bedtime routine and he’ll be in the habit of talking to us about his day each evening. In the meantime it should be helping his communication and cognitive (memory) skills. It also gets his Daddy involved in his bedtime routine.

The act of writing my memories in my diary means a lot to me as I have hardly any memories of the early weeks and months with Rowan. I was so exhausted and felt so short of time I didn’t write anything down and now I’ve forgotten most of it. I was really upset about this for a while, but now I want to make sure I remember what happens next.